Saturday, January 21, 2017

Anxiety & Depression

Having a baby is one thing that I thought it comes naturally. When I was pregnant, I thought I would be one happy preggie woman who will enjoy eating and then gain like tons of weight that I needed to lose them after I gave birth. I was wrong. I had very bad backache from the start of 2nd trimester until 39th week that even doctor couldn't help me. I was advised to just bear the pain until it magically goes off by itself because I wasn't allowed to take any painkiller during my pregnancy. As much as I wanted to have normal delivery, I thought it was the matter of I want or not. Little did I know that when I wanted to have normal delivery so badly, I just could not. I did not have a choice (I even asked the doctor if I could have normal delivery when it was very critical to the extend they needed to prepare the OT)  but to have cesarean because my baby was drowning in my tummy. I thought baby will naturally know how to suck for breastmilk. I was grateful that I managed to breastfeed my baby when she was sent to me in my ward. I didn't know there were so many things that I didn't know. I thought all these are so natural that everyone of us knows how to handle. But apparently I was wrong. So wrong that I almost couldn't handle her and I was a little depress during my pregnancy and my confinement. 

I suffer from anxiety and depression. I am not ashamed of it and it's not nice. People don't believe me when I tell them because I am always happy and laughing round them and try to make others laugh. At times I do struggle. I can be hard to live with or to be around when I get this way and I know it. I try my best to control it and most of the time I succeed. I manage to get on top of it and control thing's but at times I break. So if you see me and I am quiet or don't speak, I'm not upset with you nor have you upset me, I also do not mean to be rude, I may just need a minute to myself or a hug. So please if you are my friend just bear with me.
It's ok to not be ok, tell someone you're not ok. It's ok. Everyone says: "If you need anything, don't hesitate, I'll be there for you"...
So I'm going to make a bet, without being pessimistic, I wish my friends that you will put this on your wall. You just have to copy (not share)!!! I want to know who I can count on... Write "done" in comments when you do!
It's mental illness Awareness month -
This is for all the people I know suffering too,
Keep strong.
Keep fighting.
*P/s: I share this for people who i know sufferring from anxiety and depression. You can get through this so keep fighting and be strong! 💪💪💪
The above quote is for those who are suffereing from anxiety and depression that has been circulated in facebook. Some friends share the above quote on their facebook but I choose to share it here in my blog so those who are not in my friends, who might be suffereing from anxiety and depression, know that there is nothing to be ashamed of. #KeepFighting and #BeStrong.

Sharing a video of my baby sipping chicken essence out from the chicken breast meat that I gave her. Most of the time I am being bullied by this little one, but at times, she gives us so much joy. 
Love you Baby. 

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